A farmhand named Fred was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in Cumbria when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of spray The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmhand, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" Fred looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?" The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL® database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the farmhand and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves." "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Fred. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car. Then fred says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?" The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?" "You're an MP in Government", says Fred "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?" "No guessing required." answered the farmhand. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and yet you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a flock of sheep. Now give me back my dog!"
maybe life didn't turn out to be the party you thought, but while your here you may as well dance