Please can I ask your advice?

[Jasmine]

One of the things that has made this week very hard has been that one of our lovely TAs has just lost her husband.  He has been battling cancer for months but sadly died on Tuesday.
My Head was asking whether I thought she'd prefer a lasting momento such as a rose bush rather than a bouquet of flowers.
I think a rose is a lovely idea but I don't want anyone to be disappointed as it will be a pruned stick looking thing at this time of the year.
Has anyone got any ideas other than a rose - or a rose with an appropriate sentiment as its name?
Thank you

[Rosefriend]

It's a difficult one isn't it Jasmine..

A bouquet of flowers is so short lived and they cost a lot...I would suggest something a little more lasting...perhaps an lovely evergreen, something for all year round. Or did he have favourite flowers...perhaps a name sake - then it wouldn't matter too much that it didn't grow at this time of the year - it would be something to look forward to...?

Is she a gardener, would she appreciate a rose - not everyone does...and a lot of these name sake roses are older varities that are not very heatlhy...wouldn't be very nice to have a DA rose with a great name that is leafless more than just in the winter!!

What was his first name - perhaps we can have a google and come up with some ideas!!

RF

[Jasmine]

Thanks for your answer RF.
He was called David, she called him Dave.
I'm not sure she'd really want anything that needed any faffing.

[Rosefriend]

I can well imagine that at this moment in time it is the last thing that she needs Jasmine.

RF

[Jasmine]

She's not a faffy sort of person RF - very down to earth - what you see is what you get.
And you are especially right that this is not a time for having to do anything but focus on yourself and your children.
It has really knocked us for six as a team - some more than others. But everyone is keen for her to know we are thinking abouty her.

[Rosefriend]

What type of garden has she got??

RF

EDIT: Perhaps this link will help a little..2 plants that came to mind immediately as well..

Viburnum Davidii

Buddleia Davidii

apps.rhs.org.uk/rhsplantfinder/pfgenera.asp - just put the name David in the search box.

[Jasmine]

I'm not exactly sure what orientation the garden is for sun etc... but the houses in her road have quite good sized town gardens.
I quite like the idea of a budd - all bees and butterflies in the summer.
Will check out the RHS site.
Thanks RF.

[Tig]

I wouldn't buy her a plant at this time Jas, so much to deal with, and if it died she'd feel bad about it

Perhaps some garden vouchers would enable her to pick something they both liked when she gets over her grief

x Tig

[Geranium]

How about a planted container? It would look good, and she could change the plants for the summer.

[Ladygardener]

Jasmine I agree that flowers are very expensive and don't last that long at all. I agree with Tig that a garden voucher of some kind might be a good idea, especially if someone wrote on her card that it is to buy something that reminds her of her husband in some way. You could get a few bunches of Daffodils from M&S as well to help bring a smile.

[Jasmine]

Thank you so much for your advice ladies. I am coming at this as someone with no experince at all of what to do for the best.

[isabella]

Jasmine - I am sorry to hear about your friend's husband - how sad  I would be inclined to do as Tig  and LG have suggested - a garden voucher with a note to say you would like her to buy something for her garden to remind her of her husband - when she is ready to do so - and a bunch of cheery daffs.

[Auricula]

Jasmine I like the idea of a viburnum. It will flower at the most poignant time of her remembrance and would look good if bought now.
It's always hard to know how to treat the bereaved, but just take the lead from her