Theoretically and Realistically

[scarecrow]

A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father.


" Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?"


His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son......go and ask your mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid."


The boy trots off and comes back saying "Dad, dad, she said she would sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds."


"OK son," says his dad. "Now go and ask your sister the same question."


The boy toddles off, and comes back saying "Dad, dad, she said she would too!"


So then his dad says "Right, son, now go and ask your elder brother if he'd sleep with David Beckham for a million pounds."


The son comes back excitedly saying "Dad! Dad! He said he would too!"...... "Well there you have it, son," said his dad.


“Theoretically, we could be sitting on three million quid.


Realistically, we're living with two tarts and a poofter."

[Jilly]

[maggy]

Just found this thread !! just what's needed I think cheer us all up.

[maggy]

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm.

"I'd like to buy a horth" he says to the owner of the farm. "What sort of horse?" said the owner. "A female horth" the dwarf replies.

So the owner shows him a mare. "Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"

So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes. "Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf,

"Can I thee her teeth?" Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth. "Nithe teeth.... can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says.

By now the owner is getting a little fed up but again, picks up the dwarf to show him the horses ears. "Nithe eerth". he says, Now...can I see her twot?"

With this the owner picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep in just under the horses tail. He holds him there for a couple of seconds
before pulling him out and putting him down.

The dwarf shakes his head and says: "Perhaps I should weefwaze that...

Can I see her wun awound?"



copied from MMM

[Jilly]