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Post by Tig on Aug 25, 2008 19:29:20 GMT
INSTALLING A HUSBAND
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as SKY TV5.0, PremierPlus4.2, and GolfClubs4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
"Desperate"
Dear Desperate,
First, bear in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an 'Entertainment Package', while Husband 1.0 is an 'operating system'.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Beer 7.0 or Secretary 6.1.
Please note that Beer 7.0 is a particularly unpleasant programme, in that it will download the 'Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta'.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, however tempted you are, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 programme. This is unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0. and is likely to do irreparable damage to all of your systems. It may also trigger the unsupported use of Girlfriend 5.1 or even Hooker 6.9; the latter may result in particularly virulent viruses being introduced into the system
In summary, Husband 1.0 is an excellent programme, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Erotic Lingerie 7.7. or for advanced users, MyBestFriendisupforit.11.6
Good Luck!
Tech Support
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Post by Amo on Aug 25, 2008 20:28:03 GMT
;D ;D
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Post by nightowl on Aug 26, 2008 8:31:09 GMT
Very clever ;D
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Post by purplejulia on Aug 26, 2008 8:34:29 GMT
Loved the jargon and technospeak!
PJ
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Post by Jasmine on Aug 26, 2008 8:35:42 GMT
Those were my thoughts too NO as I read through it! ;D
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