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Post by Missredhead on Jan 16, 2009 20:03:38 GMT
My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What's on TV?" I said, "Dust." and that's how the fight started....
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds. I bought her some scales and that's how the fight started....
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her somewhere expensive...so, I took her to a Petrol station.....and that's how the fight started....
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After retiring, I went to Centrelink to sort out my pension. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licence to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Pension application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Benefits Office. She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have got disability, too'... and that's how the fight started....
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' and that's how the fight started....
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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get so stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well then, which one are you?' and that's how the fight started....
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.' He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?' 'Nah, she can order for herself.' and that's how the fight started
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Post by JennyWrenn on Jan 17, 2009 6:41:34 GMT
;D ;D
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 17, 2009 9:14:44 GMT
Some of those were very funny! ;D
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Post by carolann on Jan 17, 2009 9:19:51 GMT
Love the last 2  best. |
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Post by Jasmine on Jan 17, 2009 9:31:43 GMT
I liked the 'I'm not happy one' Carolann but was a bit worried it wasn't very pc.  ;D |
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Post by nightowl on Jan 17, 2009 10:50:04 GMT
Some very funny ones there ;D ;D ;D
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;D